As I end six months.

My son, do not forget my teaching but keep my commands in your heart Ps 3:1

I remember when I heard that I would go to Saipan for studying English. When I heard this news, I was surprised that “What happen to me?” This news gave in my heart the expectation and the glad toward newness but also the confusion and a little bit worry that “can I study English well? And what does God want me? I don’t understand God’s calling yet.” But God has made me to expect God’s grace plans even God gave his promise words;

Ezra 1:3, 4
Anyone of his people among you- may his God be with him and let him go up to Jerusalem in Judah and build the temple of the Lord, the God of Israel, the God who is in Jerusalem. And the people of any place where survivors may now be living are to provide him with silver and gold, with goods and livestock, and with freewill offerings foe the temple of God in Jerusalem.

God has made me to meditate that it was building the temple of the Lord to go on Saipan and study English so, God promised me to fill every things to build the temple of the Lord; wisdom, money , daily bread, strength… even life because it works of God for the glory of God.
The Lord moved the heart of me through these verses but sometimes I’ve distrusted that were it really my promise words?

The life of Saipan has begun even study English too and then it was very fresh experiences and fun time. We have received a lot of God’s gifts through God’s people who serve God and live on Saipan; GNC’s saints, G*A…- they have been giving the love, the encouragements and the prayer to us.

But it was not easy for me to study English and be Saipan’s new life-WSA course especially it was driven to discourage for me to catch up English study that without the basis of English study by myself. So, I couldn’t concentrate my mind but we have had worship times and prayer times almost every day and then God has always talked me that just trust Him and wait His perfect plan in His faithful through His word and every situation. I have heard that God’s words but it wasn’t reality in my life and in my thinks because I felt that my English grade and my life of faith didn’t grow up even I also didn’t expect about it .

Then I compared with my brothers and I felt envy of them by myself. It made me so tired. I praised the Lord and read the Bible every day even I am a World Mobile Missionary who is called by God for the serving and the unity of the reviver of God’s kingdom and the completion of great commission. Even I’ve preached and confessed that God is possible every things He didn’t know impossible but it became the pain to myself because I distrusted about His almighty even this verse that everything is possible for Him who believes(Ma 9:23).

The times of Saipan were not only very beautiful, joyful end thankful but also the confusion more and more. After all it was great times to be examine on my life of faith that “Was it reality to be my preaching and my confession even my Gospel for me?”

Finally God has done His perfect works through these six months in Saipan even Rota Out-reach. My sins haven’t keep God’s promise words in my heart among every time, every situation. I’ve chosen me who like foolish-phenomenon- as a reality more than the truth.

Some sat in darkness and the deepest gloom, prisoners suffering in iron chains, for they had rebelled against the word of God and despised the counsel of the Most High. Ps 107:10, 11

A-men!! When I haven’t kept the word of God as a reality in my life, when I haven’t believed just my Lord, Jesus on the cross, my life could not do nothing but confusing and the deepest.

I realized that these times was like fail to me but God used as a God’s consuming fire to my heart even God is continually doing His great works in His unfailing love.
Even I’ve realized while I was writing this essay that I have forgotten God’s promise; Ezra 1:3, 4 but God has accomplished His promise for Himself- in spite of my distrust; Is it really my promise words? It was very surprised!!

God gave grace opportunity; we became to stay on Saipan for second term of WSA once again.

“What does God want me to do during second term of WSA?”
“Why does He allow these times to me?”

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Pr 3:3

I and we will have to run to be The Day through English on Saipan for the reviver of God’s kingdom and the completion of great commission.

Oh, Lord, keep watch over my heart by your great word for Your glory until The Day.